Are You Addicted to Staying Busy?
Are You Addicted to Staying Busy?
This could be a trauma response.
Your Therapist by Lauren Auer, LCPC is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Does this sound like you? It's Friday evening. The workweek was long—filled with meetings, appointments, coffee dates, workouts, and a few loads of laundry. Finally, the weekend is here, and you have nothing on your calendar for the next two days. So why do you feel unsettled? By 10 PM, you’ve already made plans with a friend for the next day, decided to organize your closet, and meal prep for the entire week.
Always being “on” and filling your life with distractions can leave you feeling irritable, stressed, and at worst, anxious and depressed. This constant “busy-making” is actually a common response to trauma. When trauma occurs, our body's response is often to keep moving, avoiding the deeply painful emotions we're experiencing. This constant momentum can feel like a protective shield against being overwhelmed by our internal struggles.
The Cycle of Busy-Making
Staying busy might seem like a positive coping strategy, but it can actually keep you stuck. According to research published in Frontiers in Psychology, individuals who engage in high levels of activity as a distraction are more likely to experience increased stress and anxiety over time. This pattern prevents you from slowing down long enough to process and heal from your pain.
While it might feel comforting to fill your life with helping others, being productive, and maintaining a clean and orderly environment, these activities only serve as positive coping skills if you also process and face the hard emotions you're experiencing. Over-reliance on outward perfection and tasks can lead to personal disappointment, pure exhaustion, and even physical health issues. In fact, a study in Psychosomatic Medicine found that chronic stress and overworking can exacerbate symptoms like nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks.
The Fear of Happiness and Relaxation
This “busy-addiction” often stems from a fear of accepting happiness and relaxation, rooted in the belief that positive feelings won’t last. Living in a state of “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” individuals ruminate on what could go wrong or make subtle moves to sabotage themselves, maintaining a sense of control over the seemingly inevitable crash.
Finding Relief Through Emotional Processing
Connecting and processing emotions doesn’t have to be overwhelming or scary. Simple practices like taking a few minutes each day to meditate, journal, or talk to a trusted friend or therapist can provide significant relief. Your brain is stuck trying to process emotions and is craving the space to release the adrenaline associated with traumatic events. Once you “feed” your brain what it’s craving, symptoms like panic, anxiety, hypervigilance, and body aches often start to resolve.
The Importance of Professional Help
If your experiences feel impossible to deal with, it may be time to seek the help of a therapist trained in trauma recovery. Therapy can provide a safe and effective pathway toward healing, helping you confront and process difficult emotions at a manageable pace.