Venting Is Different Than Complaining... And They Both Aren't Processing

How To Start Processing Your Feelings

Your Therapist by Lauren Auer, LCPC is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

---

Venting: The Good and the Bad

Picture this: You've had a tough day at work. You get home and let it all out to a friend or partner. This is venting – letting off steam without really looking for solutions. It feels good in the moment, like a weight lifted off your shoulders. But here’s the catch: while it might make you feel better initially, research shows that frequent venting can actually ramp up your stress and aggression over time.

A study in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology found that venting anger often leads to more anger, not less. So, while it’s tempting to vent, it might not be the best long-term strategy for managing those tough emotions.

Complaining: The Negativity Trap

Now, let’s talk about complaining. This is when we point out problems without really looking to fix them. Chronic complaining can make us feel stuck, reinforcing a victim mentality and a sense of powerlessness.

Research from The Journal of Personality shows that people who complain a lot tend to be more stressed and less satisfied with life. They also tend to have a gloomier outlook overall. This negativity can create a vicious cycle, making it even harder to break free from those feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction.