Why Feeling Exhausted Can Actually Be a Sign of Healing

Understanding Chronic Fatigue and Survival Mode

Your Therapist by Lauren Auer, LCPC is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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Picture this: you're juggling two jobs, cramming for exams, and caring for your family all at once. The sheer force of will keeps you moving, even though you barely register the exhaustion that's gnawing at you. You're in survival mode, fueled by adrenaline, and it's only when the dust settles that you finally recognize how utterly tired you are. This is the paradox of rest after years of living on the edge—when your body finally encounters true safety, all it craves is deep, restorative rest.

The Hidden Cost of Survival Mode

Living in a state of chronic dysregulation is like running a marathon with no finish line in sight. Your body is constantly on high alert, expending enormous energy to keep you safe. This state of hypervigilance is not just a psychological strain; it’s a physiological one. The stress hormone cortisol floods your system, and your nervous system remains in a constant state of activation, ready to respond to perceived threats at any moment.

But what happens when the threat is no longer present? When you finally transition from a state of survival to one of safety, your body begins to process the accumulated fatigue. This is not the kind of tiredness that a strong cup of coffee can fix. It’s a bone-deep weariness, as if your body is only now realizing how much energy it has expended just to keep you afloat.

The Exhaustion of True Safety

Think back to a time when you faced an intense, acute stressor—perhaps a car accident or a heated argument with a loved one. In the aftermath, when the immediate danger had passed, you likely felt utterly exhausted, as if the weight of the world had suddenly dropped onto your shoulders. This post-stress crash is a common experience because activation drains us. Survival mode, while necessary at times, is inherently exhausting.

When your body shifts out of survival mode and into a state of safety, it’s like coming off a long, tense journey. You’re home, and you can finally relax—but you’re too tired to enjoy it. This exhaustion is your body’s way of signaling that it’s time to rest, recover, and repair. Your nervous system, having been on high alert for so long, now seeks the restorative sleep and downtime it was deprived of during those years of constant vigilance.

The Difference Between Burnout and Deep Rest

It’s crucial to differentiate between the chronic fatigue of survival mode and the exhaustion that comes from reaching safety. Burnout is a state of depletion where you feel emotionally and physically drained, often accompanied by a sense of detachment or cynicism. It’s the result of prolonged stress without adequate rest, leading to a breakdown in your ability to function effectively.

In contrast, the exhaustion you feel when you finally reach safety is a different beast. It’s a raw, unfiltered tiredness that comes from your body’s recognition that it no longer needs to be on guard. This kind of exhaustion isn’t about being overwhelmed; it’s about finally having the space to feel how tired you really are.

Embracing Rest as a Form of Self-Care

When you reach this point, it’s vital to honor your body’s need for rest. It might feel strange or even unsettling to slow down after years of living on high alert. But this is where true healing begins. By allowing yourself to rest, you are not only replenishing your energy but also retraining your nervous system to recognize that it is safe.

Research supports the importance of rest for mental and physical health. Studies show that chronic stress can lead to a host of health issues, including cardiovascular disease, weakened immune function, and mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. Conversely, adequate rest and sleep are associated with improved cognitive function, emotional regulation, and overall well-being .

So, the next time you find yourself feeling exhausted after a long day, rather than pushing through, give yourself permission to rest. Lean into the slowness your body craves. This is not just a break; it’s a crucial part of your healing journey. Remember, rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Your body has worked tirelessly to keep you safe, and now it’s time to give it the care it deserves. Embrace rest as a powerful form of self-care, and watch as your well-being begins to flourish.

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Your Therapist by Lauren Auer, LCPC is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.